THIS LIFETIME...

random bits and pieces...from the "she" collection
heard it was good to post sometimes even if only lines or pieces...just in case my journal goes missing or...
just in case.
also furthering this journey to try to be more outwardly vulnerable...
we'll see about it...it's tough man. lol
-b


fingers traverse her hair even while we sleep
cause
i just wanna get to the root of her.
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i will never ask you to clip your wings,
for though your heart is as gentle as a butterfly,
i know that the ram in you still wants to take this life head-on...
exploring possibilities, trying new things, and seeking fulfillment in all that you do.
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when you allow a beauty like hers to seep into your pores, it's hard not to sweat her.
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and the heart in me is not a locket--i seek not to contain you
my heart is your soft place to land sweet butterfly...
and should you decide to enter, you can do so through the holes that exist to ensure that you can always breathe...
holes don't close when it's convenient for me...
if you need to feel the fresh breeze across your lips or climb distant trees to taste exotic fruits
you are free
to do so
because my heart...is where your home is.
and coming home to my heart doesn't come with the expectation of being a hermit.
this world will still be yours to explore...
and when it hurts you,
i'll meet you back at home
to lick up the pieces.
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I see you...see you as though you were born on the backs of my eyelids
i watch the colors in your eyes change with your mood...home is where your hue is.

i watch seeds of doubt grow into strength and confidence...and sometimes be cut back down again.
home is where you are replanted.
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fingers grip tightly to her hair...desperate to get to the root of her.
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Beauty marks placed strategically across her body because God knew...like i know...
that her beauty not only spreads across her face,
but lies within the deepest
corners...pockets...reaches...confines...
of her being.
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you want to see what she paints,
I want to know how her colors were mixed and created.
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One day i asked God,
Why me?

(S)he replied:

because before you were born, there were whispers that you shouldn't be...
so i sent her to make sure you remember everyday that you're lucky to be alive.

because at a very young age you learned that just because two people can CREATE life together,
doesn't mean they will SPEND life together.
so i put love for her in your heart so you'd finally know
how
forever feels.

because when you were 4 years old your mother had to be strong enough to let go
again
and you had to do so right along with her
so i gave you the curves of her hips and thighs so you'd always have something beautiful to hold onto.

because when you were far too young,
you learned that trusting another with your vulnerability could lead to great heartache,
so i sent her arms to hold you in ways you have never,
and will never,
allow anyone else's to hold you

because the transition from your mother's house to your father's house
was more than just a move...
but said something to you about being wanted...
so i gave you one whose eyes tell you everything you need to know about your worth

because even as a child you'd give every single thing you had to someone you loved...
so i rewarded you with the only thing you've ever really wanted in return...
a love like her.

because your black and white stripes line up perfectly with hers,
i chose to allow you to navigate life's safari together...

because you have the ability to think deeply,
and she has the ability to bring life to deep thoughts with deep words...
i brought you together to write the love story i've been trying to perfect
since adam and eve...

because i gave you the power to SAY the things she so desperately needs to hear...
and because i gave her the power to BE the things you so desperately need to see...

because i gave her the power to SAY the things you so desperately need to hear...
and because i gave you the power to BE the things she so desperately needs to see...

because i know you love nature...
i gave you a forest in her eyes

because i know you appreciate beauty...
i gave you its very definition

because i created you in my image...
i gave you one whose spirit impresses even me.

because i know you like to fly...
i gave you one with gentle but sturdy wings.

because i know you are simple,
i gave you one who values the little things...

because i know you are complex,
i gave you one whose wisdom and insight reach far beyond this dimension or this lifetime...
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i dream about her with my eyes wide open--not wanting to miss a moment of our present
but fantasizing about our future
i don't sleep
i just daydream with my eyes closed.
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it's as if she swallowed the world right off my shoulders...
the fruits of her consumption showing in the browns and greens of her eyes
uses them to give it back to me piece by piece--
in doses that make me feel less of the world's weight,
and more of its beauty
she cultivates her consumption--
the incubator for God's most important creations.
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don't know where it started,
dont know when it will end...
she encircles me...
enraptures my soul...
devours my fears in the same breath she creates them.
__________________________________________________
I wish that I had conceived you so I could have named you Beautiful.
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