Wednesday, September 30, 2009

GRATEFUL...

"You think this is just another day in your life? It's not just another day...it's the one day that is given to you...today. It's given to you...it's a gift. it's the only gift that you have right now...and the only appropriate response...is gratefulness."



for...
**this gift called life

**this gift called love

**the skies...i am amazed by them every single day right now and i don't know how i've missed this for 29 years...(actually saw a rainbow on my way home yesterday--and it hadn't been raining!)

**life being peaceful enough for me to be still...and think deeply again...and get to know myself again...i have missed me.

**our new apartment...it took a little convincing, i know, but i really do like it...

**"our" new apartment.

**the kiddos spending lots of time there...glad they feel it's home too

**noremak and ydnarb...we are gonna make millions! lol

**friends...who love and support no matter what. means a lot...

**my brother staying safe on his travels to/from his long-distance fiancee...

**good talks with friends who make me laugh...hard (i'll call it "Can You Trust a Sneaky Heffa?" lmao...no ma'am)

**the outdoor opportunities that come with the cooler weather...mt. bonnell, wildlife preserve, town lake, barton springs, botanical gardens, here i come...

**the 2 opposing yet complimentary phenomena happening for me at the same time--choosing to use my voice more...and choosing to use it less. sounds strange, but makes sense when you think in terms of the "choice" aspect, not the acts themselves.

**words that are coming for this one poem that i really want to be very good...they're coming...at their own pace, but they're coming...

**my alpha baby...she handles up so sweetly lol

**making a trip to get a load of my stuff from storage...i feel better now with more clothes to choose from

**how 'bout them cowboys? still didn't look like my boys of old, but they got the win on MNF and i was happy...

**watching MNF with my girl who was equally into it...with wings and beer. utopia anyone? lol

**being so open-minded...it's amazing the things people tell me...i love hearing about all different things...people truly intrigue me--on a deep level

**the browns and greens in the deep forests of her eyes...

**"working" from home...spending the day together

**the coffeemaker is back in action and we are both so excited! lol

**the beauty that is her--unique in so many ways...i know her well...yet believe i will still be learning her every single day...and i love that process--so much to her, so much beauty to behold.

**"you two just fit...it's so obvious just by looking at you both"...thank you.

**you doing the hard work to make it/you better...the reading, the counselor (even if she is grandma moses, lol), the talking, the blogging...i'm so very proud of you.

**reconnecting with friends...thanks for your encouragement love...

**getting more in touch with that "other" side of me...it's there...i may as well admit it and embrace it...cause i actually kinda like it. sugary sweet has its place but uhh....lol :)

**home sweet home.


don't forget to smile...doesn't always come as mindlessly as breathing, but is potentially just as important...--bRandy


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

She WOWS me...


You are the woman who defines beauty.
You are the beauty who defines woman.
You.
Are.
Everything.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAY ON THURSDAY...



(see, we just swapped places brandi, lol)


for:


**the gift of life...and the consciousness to truly live it

**2 days.

**my first-born Godchild...the Original...turning 9 tomorrow...has so much personality--love you J-Boogie

**2 days.

**8:59pm-1:54am of nothing but mutual adoration...wow, we have alot in there for one another


**2 days.


**you two realizing you're still "in love", lol, and everything's gonna be alright--i believe that (and also hope it for my sanity, lol)


**2days.


**that work is back to normal this week...normal is still hella busy but i can breathe, and that's always helpful

**2 days.

**feeling motivated and inspired...to do..to be...to strive..

**2 days.


**finding an old card you gave me...made me smile


**2 days.


**reconnecting with my peeps...slowly, i admit...but surely...and her encouraging me to do so


**2 days.


**jason mraz--"i'm yours"...i feel it...and i love it. sometimes it really is as simple as he makes it sound in that song.


**2 days.

**a week of feeling like any minute i was going to completely abandon my normal personality and bust into a happy dance or sing in public or run or jump or something to let out all this excited energy i have in me...cause uhh, did i mention....2 days?


**2 days.


**being in the "you better get on the good foot or get left in the dust" place--i like it here...

**2 days.


**my EZs friend...we need to go soon actually...i know it's a tough month for you--just know i'm thinking about ya


**2 days.


**you coming directly to me when you were hurt. my words could never explain what that means to me...so i hope you can feel my heart.


**2 days.


**the fact that you carry it in your pocket. i didn't know it. but i'm so glad you do--you deserve to know that feeling...and you need to remember that reality.


**2 days.


**that you, you, and especially you are back to blogging--i missed your words.


**2 days.


**tough talks that i hope got us somewhere better than we were before...i just want us to be ok--but i'm not willing to sacrifice any part of "us" for us...no offense, just reality.


**2 days.

**facebook statuses that ask interesting questions for feedback--i like having those kinds of dialogue--what a great way to use your status--to get the mind working and to evoke healthy debate amongst friends...nice.


**2 days.


**the browns and greens in the deep forests of her eyes...i live there, and i like it.


**2 days.


**you. each and every thing that is...you.

don't forget to smile...doesn't always come as mindlessly as breathing, but is potentially just as important...--bRandy


Saturday, September 12, 2009

LoveRing




I looked at you today and saw tomorrow…and tomorrow’s tomorrow…and next year’s next year and…
I wanted to ask you a question…
But I was missing something…
Something most consider a pretty important accompaniment to this particular question…
Something that symbolizes the seriousness of my commitment to the commitment that this question brings

and at the time I couldn’t bring myself to ask you without the missing piece...
so my question instead became...

can my love be your ring?

Can I wrap myself around the whole of you...
show you that my commitment goes far beyond what most mean when they wrap two inches of gold and a carat of diamond around a finger…
I want to wrap myself around the whole of you and adorn the top with my soul…
if i promised it would shine as bright and never tarnish...could my love be your ring?

It wouldn’t be something new—for you’ve had my love and my soul for as long as I can remember knowing your name,

It would be something old—old enough to have experienced enough to know that this love…
your love…
will always BE…
enough.

It would be something borrowed…from cupid...from old movies when love was real...from ruby d and ozzie...from noah and allie…

And it would be something blue…like the hues that interlace with the mauves when God’s painting sunsets across the horizon just for us…my love for you stretches that far…goes that deep…and truly is that beautiful

THIS WAS A TOTAL WORK IN PROGRESS...THERE'S MORE TO IT AND THERE WAS GOING TO BE EVEN MORE...ONLY POSTED THE PARTS THAT MADE AT LEAST A LITTLE SENSE--THE REST WAS LOVESICK RAMBLINGS AT BEST, LOL. I DON'T KNOW IF, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, THIS ONE WILL EVER TURN INTO SOMETHING FOR REAL, BUT I LIKED THE IDEA OF IT ANYWAY...
-B

Thursday, September 10, 2009

NO DISCLAIMERS, JUST GRATEFUL...




for...

**this life. this love. this day.

**9.6.09...changed everything and nothing all at once. just couldn't hold it anymore. grateful for the moonlight, the water, the soft skin, and the courage to say how i felt. thankful she said yes.

**the browns and greens in the deep forests of her eyes...needed to move up the list this time.

**9.19.09

**rejuvenation....

**time with Godzilla and company...merging my families even more...how much they loved you immediately--how great you were with them.

**an absolutely wonderful labor day weekend...my mom loves her. she loves my mom. my mom loves her daughter. her daughter loves my mom. (in fact tried to purposely get left behind)...it was amazing and i am so glad we did it. ahh, my girls...

**my job...although they're trying to kill me this week, i really do like it and the people i work with.

**first born, jellybean, and kamburger...so easy to love them--they really are as great as the biased mother says they are, lol

**music--i'm falling in love all over again...some of these songs just get me right in the old ticker, others just have a beat that's outta this world...(special shout out to ginuine, maroon 5, john mayer, and mario right now)

**KKB all jacked up at the same time...wow...who would've thought?

**my muse...i'm not "that" kind of poet...but she does give me words i didn't even know i knew

**"if i only got one shot...to win you...then call me Jordan, 4th quarter in '92"...i love that--for the obvious Jordan-reference reason, and also because I feel that song (and especially that line) deep in my SOUL...lol

**the sky...i don't know if God was trying to get my attention, but (s)he most certainly did so...i have a whole new respect for that masterpiece above...it's been amazing

**My mom...for making her know how welcomed and loved she is--both of them in fact. All of us in fact. I appreciate you.

**"you just be throwing stuff on"...i don't know why i'm grateful for this per se, but it made me laugh...and possibly reevaluate the way i dress...LMAO

**self-talk and its powers--at least for me--i can truly "sit myself down" so to speak, and have a talk with myself (internally) and set myself straight...get my mind right...and i'm so glad because i'm the only one who's there 24/7...i don't have to wait for someone else to have the time, knowledge, or inclination to do it for me...

**but....also grateful for your ability to set me straight as needed

**the fact that neither of us is afraid of what others think, other's timelines, or doing us. our confidence is neither naiive nor stupid--it's
confidence and it's based on very well thought-out and COMMUNICATED factors.

**i love us. we are a very cool couple...unconventional in many ways...traditional in just as many...totally us in all. most will never understand. we always will. we win.

**uh-oh...it's happening again...the grateful list is becoming all about her/us...grateful for that problem--it's a good one to have...but i'll try to redirect now, lol

**for my friend who is being strong in a very difficult time...grateful for our rekindled friendship--never went anywhere but glad for the regularity again...we're better that way. we make each other laugh...a LOT.

**for your honesty today...again, i know it's not easy, i know it's complicated...i also know that i believe in us and the beauty of our base--our friendship--very much.

**the fact that even though it's natural, and even though i wouldn't be wrong, i am not going there...i understand that it'd be understandable...just not gonna do it.

**you reminding me of that night...driving from killeen...electric shock...wow.

**you. i breathe your name and i swallow your tears...you live in me and i, in you. i am home. you are home. we...are home...finally. let's put our feet up and stay...forever. paradise squared.

don't forget to smile...doesn't always come as mindlessly as breathing, but is potentially just as important...--bRandy


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